There must be a long-ass German word For when you’ve destroyed something good

Belatedly sharing my October Playlist with highlights of some of my favorite tracks from the list

I was proud of myself last month for having my post about my October Playlist up and ready to go early—feeling like I finally getting the hang of the cadence that comes with posting for this site. But November came in hot, and like many, I’ve spent the better part of the past few weeks sorting out my thoughts.

I’ve been working on a rather lengthy post about that recently, and am doing my best to resist the urge to post my hot takes on the internet until I have the time to properly articulate everything I want to say. I admit I fell to the initial pressure of feeling like I needed to throw my hat into the ring of collective thoughts on social media, but realized quickly that my energy and time would be best used to work through something more cohesive. (I spent some time this morning working more on that piece. I plan to post it up here once it’s ready, but I also want to make sure to give it the time it deserves.)

So, until then, here’s my playlist post for October. Last month equally felt the longest and the shortest. While my last roundup paid subscriber post, I’d like to share this with the masses since the other piece has been taking up most of my bandwidth and still needs more time.

To give some context, creating a playlist each month has been the most consistent form of “diary keeping” I seem able to manage. While writing is the medium where I feel like I can express myself most clearly, my relationship with music is an important one, despite (sadly) not being musically inclined myself. But music still plays such a major role in my life, and I’m able to sort out so much through others’ songs.

There isn’t a strict rule about what gets added to the playlist for a particular month—it doesn’t matter if it’s a newer release or an older one, whether I’ve just discovered it or if it’s been in my rotation through years—the only criteria is that it had some level of significance to me during that timeframe. For those who know me IRL, you’re probably familiar with me obnoxiously pulling my phone out to Shazam songs in restaurants and bars, or in between sets at concerts. If my husband and I are watching a show with a particularly good soundtrack, it’s inevitable at least a few songs will make their way on this list (which was the case for this month).

The number of songs that make the list varies each month, but recently they’ve been ballooning quite a bit. While the official October list features more than 80 songs, I’ve paired that down to feature ones most heavily in my rotation/those that held the most significance to me during the month.

Here’s a bit of a preview on some of the songs selected for October/some context for why they made the list:

“Disintegrate” -Wild Pink. These guys have been in heavy rotation recently, especially this track. Between the lyrics, the tempo, the sax—listening to it scratches some sort of soul itch in the most satisfying way. (The title of this blog comes from this song, btw.)

“blankets” -corook. Really fun queer bubblegum pop that always brings me joy when I play it, especially during the numerous beach trips I sneaked in to make the most of this unusually warm fall.

“Move this”-technotronic. People of a certain age will absolutely know this song since it was a pretty essential part of the soundtrack of the 90s. I heard it blaring out the speaker system of our local Walmart while running an errand. It was equal parts hilarious and odd to hear what once was a party/club bop being played in a rural chain store parking lot, but if life has taught me anything, it’s to appreciate strange full-circle moments like this.

“I Belong in Your Arms”—chairlift. This song was a staple in my life several years back, but somehow I didn’t have it saved on any of my (many, many) playlists. I attempted to try to re-find it numerous times, but the swatches of lyrics I could remember were always too general to find the proper match. But thanks to the show Heartstopper, I was able to rediscover a song that’s long been lost!

“Where the Kids Are”—Blondfire. Similar story as the above, also rediscovered thanks to Heartstopper. :-)

“As”—Stevie Wonder. By far one of the best experiences of the month was having the chance to see Stevie Wonder live at the Wells Fargo in Philly. He had been in such heavy rotation for me over the summer and on a whim, I looked up to see if he was still touring at all. To my surprise, he just announced a surprise short tour run, with a stop local to me. My aunt and I met up with one of my best friends and got a chance to sing along with so many hits and feel some true, unfettered joy. Although he didn’t play this one, I found myself listening to it pretty incessantly after the show (it was on pretty heavy rotation this summer too).

“I Wish it Would Rain Down,”—Phil Collins. Heard this while I was running errands, and it felt especially apt, considering my state is currently experiencing signficant drought conditions. :( Hoping that will alleviate soon…

“Hail Mary”—2 Pac. Bradley and I had the opportunity to see Ta-Nehisi Coates speak in Philly at the end of the month, which was such an aspiring experience. I appreciated how honestly and humbly he spoke about his writing process, and found plenty of wisdom in his words, especially regarding “letting go” of what you say once you put it into the world. While he tried to speak more broadly of his craft and the process of writing his latest book, it was clear there was eager interest regarding the chapter on Palestine, especially after an especially contentious interview on CBS Mornings earlier in the month. When asked how he felt about that experience, he shared that he had been listening to “Hail Mary” on the way into the city that day (which happened to be his birthday), and that it unintentionally helped him be in the right frame of mind to take on the fuckery that followed. Immediately after we left the event, we put it on and rode home feeling empowered.