People living on twenty four hour clocks, but we’re on a ride, yes we’re on a ride, we’re on a ride

#realtalk: It’s been a rough week coming back after the #alzforum for a whole lot of reasons, but a very big one I’m just finally able to mentally articulate is the unexpected feelings and emotions the whole thing managed to dredge up for me.

It has been 14 years of my mom having #alzheimers. 14 years of unraveling and caretaking and forgetting–not just her, but also me.

Forgetting the parts of her that were so bright and lovely, that without will always leave some part of my life a little darker. It has been so long without that light that I had been blessed with being able to forget how gut-wrenching its absence truly is.

Being around all those people, those experiences, those emotions, was so cathartic, but so, so hard. My body literally couldn’t handle it: for the first time all year I got sick.

I am trying to find ways to slow down, to get back in touch with myself, and my voice. I am forcing myself to take time for myself, for exploration that aligns with my current life circumstance, to reach my goals healthily and not at my own expense.

This project is one of those things. It has already evolved so much since I first started birthing it (I know that is such a creepy way to phrase it, but this is legit what it feels like), and I am excited to see where it takes me.

Above all, I am excited for all the wonderful people out there I hope to meet and learn about. I have encountered so many incredible people who’ve taught me so much about #life and #love since this strange, sad just first began.