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I’m getting desperate.
As I watch the clock inch closer to 2 a.m., I am Googling “Meditation and Relaxation music” as I curse myself for not drugging myself with Nyquil earlier.
I’m beginning to realize that sleeplessness is an ongoing issue for me and I’m beginning to wonder if I need to completely change my system/approach to life. I cannot keep running on empty and physically and emotionally crashing. By Friday last week I was sick and slept for the majority of the weekend, canceling plans and dragging my arse for 3 days. I ended up calling out of work yesterday because I just could not properly function.
I’m supposed to be up in 4 hours and on my way to Baltimore for a client meeting. I have to be well dressed, well groomed and brilliant. The likelihood of anything of that diminishes with each minute that falls away from my potential sleep time and moves closer to my alleged awake time.
Does ANYONE out there have useful tips for a person who has major sleep issues and needs a whole life overhaul?!?! I am now understand why it’s so important to implement a regimented sleep/life routine in children. I will happily blame my parents for these deep-rooted issues.
While I lay in bed for more than an hour, trying all the tricks I’ve learned/been recommended throughout the years, I just kept trying to figure out the best ways to erase the last 26 years of bad habits. Reverse psychology did not work (You’re not tired. Just get up….you want to get up…). Neither did quiet meditation (there is always *something* that makes me want to move/break focus). Counting. Listening to music. Listening to nothing. Breathing differently. Holding my breath. Refusing to open my eyes. Forcing myself to keep my eyes open until I want nothing more than to shut them.
Now I’m listening to weird techno remixes of songs that have nothing to do with relaxation or meditation. Unless I was trapped in a Mortal Kombat video game. (I actually think this might be the Mortal Kombat song. WTF?!)
Why didn’t I take the Nyquil??
#blergh #insidemyhead #OMG #rant